The Top 10 Trends That Need to Stop - Part II
BY DANI FAITH LEONARD
Alex and I are on our way to LA to launch the LA chapter of Big Vision Empty Wallet (to find out about BVEW Chapters, CLICK HERE)! Obviously, as I've written before, the airport is amazing for people watching, especially when those people traveling with you are going to arguably the most superficial city in the country. This means that the passengers on this plane will most likely be a sea of trendy dressers, trying so hard to look unique that they all look the same.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the Top Ten Trends That Need to Stop. I received so many suggestions of other trends that are bothering people, so I decided to write an addendum. Here are THE TOP TEN TRENDS THAT NEED TO STOP - PART II (look out for the ones currently seen at JFK airport at the Virgin America gate, indicated by an asterisk) //
10 - Dancing, Skating or Anything Else With the Stars // My first question is, what is the definition of a star? My second question is, what will people not watch? How about we create a show where starts confront problems that normal people deal with? I think Foreclosure With the Stars or Getting Audited With the Stars might be a hit.
9 - Celebrity Memoirs // Although I want to know how Justin Bieber has enough material to write a memoir, I will not be doing the necessary research to make that determination. Although I want to know how a president who made horrendous decisions can release a book titled "Decision Points," I will not be buying it. And although I would like to know if Sarah Palin is capable of writing in English, I will not be reading her memoir.
*8 - Lip Implants // Why would you go after that lumpy stuffed-sausage look? Angelina Jolie has a big face that her big lips sit on perfectly. You have a bobble head that balances on your rock-hard immovable double-Ds. The funny thing is, you might even be a doctor or a high-powered lawyer. But I have to ask you, when you are standing in front of that jury giving your final summation, do you think they are looking into your honest eyes?
7 - Harry Potter Costumes on Adults // I can't tell you how many 40-year-old women I saw this week dressed in their best slutty school girl Hermoine outfit. Stop it!
*6 - Combovers // Those three hairs aren't fooling anyone. And, if there are only three measly hairs, why do you think covering them in gel is a good plan?
5 - Turbans // I am not referring to turbans that are worn for religious purposes. The turbans I am referring to are worn by hipster women who, apparently, did not feel like washing their hair or investing in a great dry-shampoo. Why do you want to look like Aladdin? Do you think it will help your chances of taking home a new hipster-beau and nailing him? If you are a woman and you can't accurately tell me my fortune, I beg you to take that turban off and flaunt that greasy hair.
*4 - Genie Pants // You look like an asshole. See "Turbans" above.
*3 - 5-inch Laboutins on a Plane // Are you comfortable?
*2 - Hipster 'stache // Growing out that mustache in "Movember" must have been fun. But now, it's December. If Hitler meets Andy Warhol was your ideal look, then yes, you've succeeded.
*1- Hair-in-a-can // As for hairlines that are spray painted on, this might work on TV (in pre-HD times). However, how did you think this would go unnoticed in person? HOW?
* denotes currently looking at this trend at the airport.