LET OLD ROMANCES BE FORGOT // A FILM REVIEW OF "I HATE NEW YEARS"
I love rom-com's and I love Holiday films. In the world of rom-com's, the Queer community is largely regulated to the quirky best friend or another sidelined stereotypical character that will definitely yell the phrase, "You go girl!" There are some exceptions like 2005's Imagine Me & You that stands out, as does the recent success story of Hulu's Happiest Season. But largely, the rom-com film world is filled with mostly straight couples. So I was thrilled to see that I HATE NEW YEARS, the new film starring The Voice's Dia Frampton and premiering on the Telo Network (as well as streaming as a VOD everywhere else), told a gay love story within a very traditional holiday set-up. And sure, the trailer leaves a lot to be desired. But I've loved films with a bad trailer before. So, I persevered, determined to find the goodness in this new LGBTQ+ story. And I'm here to tell you that... there is no goodness to find.
Dia Frampton, who was a finalist of NBC's The Voice and half of the singing duo "Meg & Dia," plays Layne Price. She's a huge Pop Star who hates New Years (we know this because she says it twice in one scene) and has a bit of writers block after a very successful first album. So her publicist sends her to her personal psychic (Candis Cayne) as a way of possibly breaking through that block. They suggest that Layne return to her hometown of Nashville for New Years and gain a new perspective. So Layne does, staying with her best friend and fellow musician Cassie (Ashley Argota). Cassie is secretly in love with Layne but Layne thinks her ex Caroline (Kelly Lynn Reiter) may be the key to fixing her life. So Cassie, as a good friend, decides to helps Layne find her ex, even though it'll break her heart. Will they discover each other before midnight on NYE? You don't need a magic ball to guess that "All signs point to yes." Though not original, it's a tried and true rom-com set up that can absolutely work. So why then does it crash and burn so badly?
To begin with, the script is bad. As in really bad (Example: Layne & Cassie, two best friends, get into a disagreement to which Cassie says, "You don't know me!" Layne responds, "I'm your best friend!" Five seconds later, Cassie asks, "Have you ever been in love?" YOU ARE HER BEST FRIEND. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT). It's meant to be lighthearted and breezy but this comedy is not ever remotely funny. In fact, you can set your clock by the super dramatic monologue backed with a sad violin about once every five minutes or so. The acting is also either painfully awkward or painfully bad. Dia Frampton is naturally charming and it's very hard not to like her. But she comes off terribly awkward and stiff here, not able to show any short of levels to her emotions. Ashley Argota is the only person in the cast who fares well and shows she can actually act. Although she suffers through many very bad scenes like a horribly unfunny one early in the film of her trying to be sexy in front of Layne.
The film also doesn't quite know what it wants to be. For the first 30 minutes it plays as a musical, with songs that are pretty good, but they never last longer than one verse and a chorus. I mean, why stick with the one thing that might work? Even with mostly bad acting all around, the most embarrassing thing about the film is the terrible filmmaking. There are multiple times the camera shakes, most likely due to someone hitting the camera or not properly locking it. Listen, this happens, but you reshoot. They chose not to, and these scenes are in the final cut. Also, every party scene feels like the saddest party you've never been to (and wouldn't go to) and it's clear that all background actors have been told not to move while anyone is speaking. To say director Christin Baker's filmmaking style feels like a student film would be generous. Suffice to say, I HATE NEW YEARS had the best intentions (Yahhhhh LGBTQ+ stories!) but turned into one of the worst films of the year. If you're hungry for a gay love story, there are much better ways to go. Just as the character of Cassie, in one particular heartbreak scene, walks away from Layne LITERALLY into a pitch dark field like she's a ghost or in a horror movie, we all need to walk away from this perfectly suited for 2020 dumpster fire of a film and demand better Queer stories. The world needs them and they need them told so much better than this.
GRADE: F
WRITTEN BY Ashley Arnold, Christin Baker, Danielle Jablonski, Kathryn Trammell DIRECTED BY Christin Baker STARRING Dia Frampton, Ashley Argota, Candis Cayne, Andrew Brennen, Tamiko Robinson Steele, Kelly Lynn Reiter NOW AVAILABLE ON THE TELO NETWORK AND STREAMING ON DEMAND EVERYWHERE.