The Top 10 Stories in 2010 That are Sure to Be Made into Films by 2012
BY DANI FAITH LEONARD
10 - Chilean Miners // Let’s just get the obvious out of the way. This should be a good movie by 2012. Or maybe not? Will it be a blockbuster or a Hallmark movie? A made-for-TV Telemundo feature?
9 - Ugly Holiday Sweaters // Everybody knows there was a booming trend of ugly holiday sweater parties this year (at my party, we did ugly hats and sweaters). In this film, the economy forces a desperate, down-on-their-luck family to go into business and start an ugly sweater company...wait...that’s actually a great idea.
8 - Artist Has Digital Camera Implanted in Head // An NYU Professor has had a camera implanted in the back of his head for an art project. Well, clearly, in the film version, his third eye witnesses a murder and has to testify.
7 - Christine O’Donnell...The Friendly Witch // Part Bewitched and part Sarah Palin, this musical comedy (I swear it would be better as a musical) would start at a witch-hunt and end at the White House (if it were produced by O’Donnell herself).
6 - WikiLeaks on Trial // Nobody knows where Julian Assange, the leader of WikiLeaks, is hiding. Sarah Palin wants him dead and the U.S. wants to try him under the Espionage Act. All because he has chosen to expose the lies that have kept us in perpetual war, a decision that has affected the safety of many and the ability of politicians to engage in worldwide shady dealings. This high intensity drama, no doubt starring Matt Damon, will be a great pick for 2012.
5 - The BP Oil Spill // Do we never learn anything? What are the risks of wind energy? An air spill? What about solar? A sun leak?
4 - Indiana Jones and the Missing Penis // There has always been a debate over how King Tut died and it has been suggested that he passed away from a rare disease that produces underdeveloped genitalia called Antley-Bixler syndrome. Egypt’s chief archaeologist disagreed and, to everybody’s surprise, it was determined during the debate that King Tut’s Penis was actually declared missing in 1968. In this new Jones flick, Harrison Ford and Shia Labeouf go searching for the missing member. I smell an Oscar.
3 - 2010 - The Big Decision // No, not the midterm elections...LeBron.
2 - Antoine Dodson and the Real Life Jeffersons // He has moved his family out of the projects and we can’t get enough of him. What’s to come in 2011?
1 - The Homeless Man With the Golden Voice (the first film-worthy story of 2011!) // Imagine a Brooklyn-born man, down on his luck and homeless in Ohio. He stumbles upon a TV guy and, low-and-behold, he has the most amazing speaking voice since James Earl Jones. Watch video below.
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