The Top 10 Things This Week that Made Me Say “WTF”
BY DANI FAITH LEONARD
I took last week off and didn’t write a Top 10. I missed it! I really do love writing this column, especially when so many crazy things happen in one week. Between the New York gubernatorial debate and the Brett Favre penis shots, there were so many things that made me want to vomit. These are The Top 10 Things This Week that Made Me Say “WTF”:
10 - Backstreet’s Back // This week, the Backstreet Boys reunited to surprise a fan on Oprah. This forced me to pose the question, if you are no longer a boy or a kid, shouldn’t you change the name of your band? I know “New Middle-Aged Men on the Block” doesn’t really roll off the tongue and “The Backstreet Men” sounds like creepy gay porn, but figure it out! Wtf.
9 - Loud Cell Phone Conversations // Cell phones have been around for a long time now, so you would think that people would have learned how to speak on them. My writing partner and I are working on a screenplay and we often meet in a cafe. This woman was talking on the phone and screamed, “Oh my God, he has it? Shit. I gotta go get checked out.” Classy. Wtf.
8 - Michael Lohan’s Big Announcement // Michael Lohan gave a press conference this week to announce that he will no longer talk to the press. Nice publicity move. Wtf.
7 - World’s Longest Cat is Crowned // “Stewie,” a five-year-old Maine Coon, measures 48.5 inches and hails from Nevada. The crazy thing is, his owner actually thinks he’s cute. I almost puked when I saw this story on the news. Even though I’m not a cat lover anyway, I think the general consensus is that this cat, pictured below, is the creepiest animal that ever lived. Wtf.
6 - Chilean Miners // Those awesome guys came up from the mine and looked healthier than 99% of the people I see walking around NYC. Wtf.
5 - The Uproar About the GLEE Photo Shoot // This week, there were sexy pictures in GQ of three of the actors from Glee. Although their characters are in their teens, these actors are in their twenties. The Parents Television Council launched a formal complaint about the hot photos. Um...if you’re such a good parent, then why is your kid reading GQ? Wtf.
4 - Pick-up Lines // Oscar Wilde once said, “I have nothing to declare but the fact that you should go out with me.” This simple approach to picking up a woman (or man) is definitely the most effective. However, many men in Manhattan have not received the memo. Last week, I was sitting on my laptop when a man approached me. Before I had a chance to pretend I didn’t speak English, he handed me a pumpkin with a creepy face that he painted and a note attached with his number. Some of my recent favorite lines include: “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?” and “Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.” Wtf.
3 - Carl Paladino is Afraid of Gay Men // Carl Paladino, the candidate for governor of NY, recently came under fire for a bunch of homophobic comments. Nobody seemed to notice that on his interview with Matt Lauer last week, he said that he thinks the Gay Pride Parade is scary. This gave me so many ideas! If I didn’t have too many other things to do, I would stay home all weekend and make the scariest movie that ever existed, Village People 3D! Wtf.
2 - Antoine Dodson // Antoine Dodson shot to fame when he gave his famous “bed intruder” interview and it spawned several musical remixes. View one HERE. Now, this guy has performed his song on the BET awards and he is selling a t-shirt line, halloween costume line and ringtone. Today, he received his own milkshake. My talented friends and colleagues don’t have wikipedia pages, but this guy does. Hide your kids, hide your wife. Wtf.
1 - Brett Favre’s Penis Pics // Although the actual pics, allegedly of Brett Favre’s penis, were shocking (yes, I did look at them), the most shocking part of all is that there are several famous men who think that sending a cell phone pic of their little guy is a good idea. Of course the pics will make their way online! I’m not sure if sending a crotch pic to a woman who is not really interested in you is a good idea anyway. Oh, you’re not interested? I know what will definitely seal the deal. A picture of Little Chubby. Wtf.